Hello people.
Haven't posted for a while so here is a quick refresh:
Got a new job.
Went to Brisbane.
Lost my job.
Went back to Uni with the prospect of being unemployed.
Depressed...mope...sulk...self-pity.
Got a new job.
Looking a life with a new sense of hope and purpose.
Funny how life balances itself out all by itself. Or not depending on the sitiuation.
What I learnt in the last month contained a few life lessons:
1. Don't take anything for granted, you never know when you will have nothing so I don't be a fool and lose it first and then regret it.
2. Don't speak up in opposition to your boss even though you know you are right and he/she is wrong especially if he/she is a irritating two-faced little bitch who would sooner bury you then apologise.
3. Don't expect your friends to be there for you if you arn't there for them. This does not apply to those of us who are anti-social, don't take the term literally. Just see it as another way of being self-sufficient.
4. Life is harsh, work is harsh, people are harsh. Its all a matter of perspective and how you deal with it.
5. Self-Control: Anger. Hate. Disappointment. Success. Part and parcel of the game
Life since high school has changed a lot, everything seemed so simple back then, the plan was so easy. Finish high school...go to uni...get a good job. Now its a different story, with an infinite number of details which need to be taken care of just for once facet of your "plan" to come to fruition. High school is done with, now you go to uni; do well at uni, get a job while at uni, keep your job whilst at uni, make sure your grades don't slip while working, making sure you have enough money for your uni books fees etc.. working enough so you have enough money, it doesn't stop. It never stops. Not until you die, where you don't have to care about anything.
The funny thing is that I enjoy my life, adversity brings out the best in us all. I have always been partial to conflict and struggle, self-induced or otherwise, call me a glutton for punishment but at least I did it. I recognise that plenty of other people do it too.
For a while now, I have been seen as a sterotype, apparently representing all things cold, unemotional, angry, violent, sinister, psychotic, whatever. Guess what, I am merely misunderstood. I am controlled, quisessentially violent and ultimately human. I feel love, anger, joy and pain just like everyone else. I just deal with it differently. Vague as that may be.
Remarkably depressing as this subject matter is, it feels better to let it out than keep it in. I take refuge in the thought I do not walk these steps alone. I love my girlfriend (yes Nez, thats you), truth be told, and only to her do I wear my heart on my sleeve, you treasure life more when you share it with someone.
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